Never Hurt A Guy!

Sometimes, certain things are just true to believe. Sometimes LOVE is painful and sometimes its SWEET. This is a touching story that I received in my e-mail.

One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was
something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night.

The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told
him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.

A silent tear slide down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.

At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved
right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.

Miraculously , the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."

To some girls this might be a joke but for those who understand the true meaning of LOVE would be tearing by now. There's alway time and place to tell and expres things or feelings. Make sure you (gals) don't kill guys with your words.

This ant for every gal but for those of you of feels the sharp object pierceing through your heart or geting heated reading this then this message is surely for you and for those who are tearing, you may wipe ur tears and don't make the mistake the girl did.

Signing Off -dinotino®©-

Do This To Your Girlfriend

So it was their 7th month anniversery
and the girl calls her boyfriend::

Girl: I love you.
Boy: Yeah I know everyone does!

Girl:Really?
Boy: Yeah...everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday.

Girl: Oh...but am I only your friend?
Boy: No...you're my girlfriend...why?

Girl: So when I say I love you I really do mean it.
Boy: Yeah I know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me that you love me anymore cuz I know you love me since the day we been together and i love you more each and everyday.

Girl: ......
Boy: So wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7 month anniversary?

Girl: Yeah...where?
Boy: I dont know...maybe movie then dinner?

Girl: Ok.
Boy: I'll pick you up after I get off and get ready ok?

Girl: Ok. What time do you get off?
Boy:In 2 hours and then I gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes about 15-20 mintues...

Girl: hey...I thought you didnt have work today...
Boy: One of my co-workers called in sick.

Girl: Oh okay! So sill see you around 7:30
then?
Boy: Yeah! and babe?

Girl: Yeah?
Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you too!
Boy: Ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go.

Girl: Ok bye.
Boy: Bye.


****************************


2 hours later...


The guy drives to his girlfriends house and walks up to the door and rings bell.


Girl: Hey! (gives a kiss to her boyfriend)
Boy: Wassup...you ready?

Girl: Um...wait...let me get my bag and we can go ok?
Boy: Ok.

They both watched a movie and ate dinner...once they were done eating they headed back to the car but before she got into the car...

Boy: Wait! Can I blind fold you?
Girl: Why??!

Boy: Its a suprise.
Girl: What kind of suprise?

Boy: A big one.
Girl:Okay but only if you promise me that you will hold my hand while we're driving.

Boy: I promise.
Girl: Ok blind fold me...

So they drove off...........and then they stopped.

Boy: Ok we're here!
Girl: Where?

Boy: Wait let me walk you to the place!
Girl: What place?

Boy: Somewhere! (and gives a kiss to her on the lips)
Girl: Baby!...

The boy walks her to the place.

Boy: Ok...let me take the blind fold off.
Girl: Where are we?

He takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the city and at that same spot...that's where he first asked her to be his girlfriend....

Girl: Omg...(tears come down)
Boy: Why are you crying?

Girl: This is where you first asked me out...
Boy: What are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees and after he says that...behind him...in the air it says "Will you marry me?" in fireworks)

Girl: (tears come down faster)
Boy: I wasnt at work when you called me...I was planning this whole thing!

Girl: Get up!
Boy: Yeah?

Girl: (kisses him)
Boy: Is that a yes or a no?

Girl: Yes.

Signing Off -dinotino®©-

What True Love is... (18+)

Signing Off -dinotino®©-

Santa & Banta - Dumb and Dumber

Santa and Banta decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport fishing.

After fishing for 4 hours at various places around the lake with no luck at all they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits, Suddenly things started to happen, and they caught plenty of fish within twenty minutes.

Banta said, (Hey we should mark this spot, so next time we will know where to come) Santa says good idea, and he took out a can of spray paint and made a large X on the floor of the boat....to mark the spot.... Seeing that Banta shouted, why did you do that, now anyone who rents this boat will know where to fish!

Signing Off -dinotino®©-

How Software Project Start

Programmer to Team Leader: "We can't do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take this type of project."

Team Leader to Project Manager: "This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."

Project Manager to Director: "This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."

Director to Vice President: "This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution."

Vice President to CEO: "This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances. "

CEO to Client: "This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame."


Signing Off -dinotino®©-

The Raise

Maid asked for a pay raise, Madam was very upset about this and asked, 'Now Maria, why do you want an increase?'

Maria: Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase.

The first is that I iron better than you.

Madam: Who said you iron better than me?
Maria: The Master said so.
Madam: Oh.

Maria. The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.
Madam: Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?
Maria: 'The Master did.' Madam.

Maria: My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.
Madam (very angry now): Did the Master say so as well?

Maria: No Madam, the chauffeur did!


Signing Off -dinotino®©-

Problems Like Animals (Joke)

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor and said

Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first:

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man: I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.

I get up in the morning like a horse

I go to work running like a deer

I work all the day like a donkey

I run around for 11 months like a bull without any holiday.

I wag my tail in front of all my bosses

I play with my children like a monkey if I get time.

I am like a rabbit before my wife

Doctor: are you an engineer?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are are an engineer. Come man, no one can treat you better than me.


Signing Off -dinotino®©-